The absence of Zema...
#1
After much soul searching and a significant amount of out-of-game time, I have come to the painful decision to retire Zema.

I had not intended to do so...but my last log in was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

In the ten or fifteen minutes that I was online, I recieved -no less- than ten separate tells (none of which even -pretended- to role play) for joining end-game raids and/or PvP raids.

I feel that I owe the guild an appology. Upon my acceptance of full membership, it was still my intention to play Zema, to enjoy the friendships I'd formed, and to continue her story...

Now, I simply have no drive and no desire to continue as a priest...and I don't have the stomach to delete a level 60 priest to reroll...not to mention that the character and class were integral to each other.

I feel that I owe an especially heart-felt appology to Damo... I will always treasure the snippets of RP we had. No one -ever- took the time out of their 'grinding' to be silly with me...no one ever -actually- took it upon themselves to play tag with me...much less in a dangerous place, that actually ended up killing us <laughs> ...it is a treasured memory. ..and, rest assured that Zema -WILL- pop in from time-to-time to torment her Uncle Damomanoxamanamin...but it won't be to actively play the game, just to role play the character.

I want to thank you all, sincerely, for the time you gave to me.

It meant more than any of you could ever realize. ...in a time when I was 99% discouraged with everything, you guys were (and continue to BE) amazing.

Thank you...all of you...if I start naming names, I will forget someone important...but Kretol, Merrirrina, Chief General Uncle Sreng, Innannanna, Evie, everyone... I have sincerely missed seeing you all in guild chat.

<hugs the whole of Ironsong>
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#2
Those are some of the reasons I have mostly retired Inanna as well.
I would fully retire her, but...there simply are not enough events.
I got tired of being afraid to turn people down when I was doing some thing roleplay related and they wanted me to come to an instance.
I don't even consider myself a good roleplayer and I feel that way.

People want me to come to an instance and they don't have any desire to talk to me otherwise...hmm. I smell a plot!

For the most part, I simply can't even stand the Horde side on Silver hand these days.

That is why, unless I am doing something eventish, checking my mail, or saying hi, I am on Shadow Council.

I have to remember to stop by on Lyka and say hi to you Zema.
It is nice being on the Alliance side and not having the pressure I feel on the Horde side to stay, to make instances happen and to be a number on an underpopulated side.
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#3
There's something to be said for not grinding to 60 I think, and these confessions of two beautiful fantasy personas highlight the purposefulness in playing characters that are not always concerned with getting more powerful gear and kicking ass so that they've got something to brag about. People are drawn to RPGs because they get to be whoever they want, and posess whatever powers that they can draw from depthless imagination. Somehwhere in the struggle to get noticed and have fun, we lose sight of this simple pursuit and the purity of soul it reflects.

Hey, don't give up. Find other mediums to pursue these characters with if WoW just isn't working out. Unfortunately a lot of us are spread out and can't enjoy the pleasures of tabletop RPGs, which bring less anonymity but at the cost of greater effort to enjoy the illusion. Things like that are maybe pursuits that will help you. Or maybe just a different twist on gaming with us in Azeroth through different characters, or just with a different attitude.

Personally, I feel like I know what you're feeling right now. I come here to escape the pressures of being trapped in a faceless sterile society only to be pressured into becoming "a good rogue", and "a good player"... So I attack those expectations others have of me. If someone's upset with me because I won't pull my weight how they think I should be in an instance, I'll just say "bugger off, I don't need to be here". I can go and solo. I can go and roleplay. I can do my own thing because I know that what I do has purpose and meaning to me, and people like it when you have some purpose to what you're doing. It gives them hope I guess, hope for themselves and the rest of the world.

OK, before I get anymore abstract i'm bringing it back to the situation with Zema and Inanna. Be yourselves. If people piss you off with their expectations just flip 'em off however you see fit and say "no this is how I'm going to do things"... Don't be afraid to shake things up. I definately have seen Zema do so. People notice her whenever she's on with her bombastic and surreal childlike demeanor. ((i'm sorry, it's kind of hard sometimes to picture her as a little girl with the standard undead female model as her avatar, but that's besides the point ; P)) Inanna I've had fewer interactions with, but from what I've seen your character is like a very sedate and peaceful being of nature. She is like the beautiful rolling hills of Mulgore or the gentle play of sunlight through the verdant canopy of Feralas. Everything that a druid should be, Inanna is.

I hate the incessant grouping sometimes. Azeroth is a world at war, but when you make a game that has so many tools to make a world seem like a real projection of fantasy it is hard not to get drawn into it as a place where one would like to live. Who wouldn't want to swim in the pools of Feralas, or smoke a hookah in a jolly tavern while watching the traffic of fantastic personalities wind their way along the streets of thriving Orgrimmar? Why should our characters be obsessed with war in every waking moment of their lives? What is the point? What is the point of always fighting if you don't take time out enjoy the peace that you work to protect?

Innana, Zarrema, and everyone else and the players that sit behind the screens pulling the strings; love this world of ours, for it is a beautiful and amazing thing. And remind us from time to time why we grind, why we fight, why we die, why we haggle, and why we come back time after time to this beautiful and terrible place someone once called Azeroth.

The player behind Rawne, Drakka, and a few others who await discovery. ; P
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#4
Quote:((i'm sorry, it's kind of hard sometimes to picture her as a little girl with the standard undead female model as her avatar, but that's besides the point ; P))

...actually... Zema -is- a little girl. I can't modify the avatar, or I would...picture someone who probably died around the age of 10, maybe as old as 13...so, if she comes off that way, that's a good thing! hehe.

..as for continuing to play, I have...and believe me when I say this, if it were possible for an Alliance character to be part of a Horde guild, you guys would have a paladin amongst you...though, still not as often as I used to play.

I have found my niche, a character I can both RP and who I feel comfortable telling someone to go some place unpleasant...where as, with Zema (much as Inanna), I always felt the "Join up, shut up, and heal" sort of pressure.

Paladin is all that I wanted in a class, as a Priest. I'm neither the best healer nor the best tank, but I can main heal -and- main tank in a pinch....and Aryzel is a character that I enjoy (and have, since I created her persona in EQ).

Again, I simply wish it were possible to interract with those players that I became close to very quickly in Ironsong.

If anyone wants to visit, though, I'm Aryzel when I'm on...and I promise to visit as Zema and drop a few panda priestess hug bombs on everyone <chuckles>

Don't get me wrong, on this... Zema, the character, won't be going anywhere... I just have no intention of doing anything with her short of role play, for now....hopefully that will change, one day...but for now, she remains in Feralas with her beloved fishing pole.

...thanks, Rawne Smile
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#5
Zeema, Big hugs! I understand that perfectly because that is the same way I feel about my hunter. I have more fun rp ing my low lvl Alliance on Shadow Council now. Have fun where ever you play. You and Inanna are both great people!
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#6
i might take you up on that invite Zema, I've been thinking about creating a dwarven treasure hunter on SH. you'll always find me in some dark place somewhere. ; D
-Dentik
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#7
Sorry for the slow reply, i'm not much for getting on the message board these days to take a glance around. Well I understand that there is more than a little pressure on the priests of our side given the significant lack of numbers. I've spoken to many many people at 60 who are irritable over the constant barrage of tells they recieve. I myself turn down more UBRS invites than I care to mention. Its a sad thing that you have to retire your character over it however as the short time we had to play together was quite a memorable experience for me. Its hard to keep my enthusiasm for roleplaying up these days and I'm becoming a molten core junky because I enjoy the challenge. But lately thats all I really look forward to coming on for as I either don't see the majority of people I formed good playing bonds with or am running in the previously mentioned super dungeon.

At any rate, if you ever see my rather unique character concept on the alliance side (Not often at all however) say hello to Damoxia, who is Damoxian trapped in a gnome womans body after a horrendouse soul shard accident. (gives me a way to play with the allinace during social events)

Craig
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#8
While I might understand your reasoning, and have to accept your decision (and this goes for you too, Inana), I don't have to like it. But I will miss you. Take care, and if I see you on Alliance side, I will send you a tell. Take care, and I look forward to seeing you whenever you pop in.
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