Poetry contest!
#1
Yep! Another one.

Submit your poetry entries to this post. No restriction on style or length. Poetry must be your own original work.
Deadline is Monday April 25th.
Awards will be as follows:

1st place.: Supply pack of food and trade goods appropriate to your level and profession. Also a potion of treasure finding.

2nd place.: Half the amount of the 1st place winner for food and trade goods.

3rd place.: A quarter supply pack of food and trade goods.

Winners will be announce the moot following the deadline. (Poetry moot!) Awards will go to the winner within 2 weeks of the Poetry moot.

(Please no vulgarity! The winner will be decided by a panel of judges. If you'd like to be a judge please send Mula an in-game mail with your qualification. Judges cannot vote for themselves!)
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#2
The Ballad of the Pyromaniac

I grew up with the smell of grenades
Wafting over the edge of my crib.
I played among fuses and blades,
With gunpowder dusting my bib.

At twenty I bid home farewell,
And left with a lesson learned well:
No problem existed
That couldn’t be fixted
With a nine inch high velocity shell.

Clogged loo in my Orgrimmar bathroom?
A cherry bomb shifted the plug!
Too much junk piled up in the back room?
BOOM! Now I can see my own rug.

I got rid of an unwanted lass
By exploding my very own bike
She thought I had died in the blast
But I fled under cover of night.

I tried this again two weeks later,
When I made my apartment a crater,
But when I peeked through the soot
I saw her shod foot
And her voice said “your fuse could be straighter.”

We teamed up as a two-person gang.
Making bombs all the night while we sang.
We decided to marry
And blow up the unwary
Until death do us part -- kaBANG!
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#3
88 Lines about 44 Instances

Wailing caverns sleeps beneath,
Oozing nightmares into the day.
Ragefire Chasm, Cultist's lair,
In heart of Org is here to stay.

Deadmines is a distant cavern
Chock full of pirates and a boat.
Stockades lies beneath Stormwind;
A place where prisoners now gloat.

Go to Shadowfang if you
Want to slay Arugal, dark mage.
Blackfathom lies far away,
Full of naga beneath the waves.

Razorfen is full of pigs
And source of Scourge in Kalimdor.
Sunken Temple's dragon-full
If only you can find the door.

Kill hydra in Zul'farak
If you've the mallet by your side.
Finkle's in UBRS;
Equip his knife for Pristine Hide.

Kill your way through Undead Strat
To face dead Baron Rivendere.
Run Zul'Aman fast enough
To earn youself a racing bear.

Peacebloom opens up the Gates
Of Ahn'Quiraj, where beetles swarm.
Then head off to Blackwing Lair,
Bring back a dragon's head, still warm.

Blackrock Depths is where you go
To gather famed dark iron ore.
Onyxia, dark broodmother,
Sends in her whelps and deep breaths more.
Put on all your fire resist:
Be the bomb in Molten Core.

Climb the stairs in orc Ramparts,
Shoot down a dragon for a fight.
Setthek is where druid friends
Kill a raven for epic flight.

Go to Shadow Labs to see
Murmur, a mini-Ragnaros.
Travel to Botanica
To squash cadaver maggots -- gross!

Help Thrall escape Durnholde Keep
Though he will not remember you.
Fight into Auchenai Crypts
And at the end talk to Naaru.

Travel into Blood Furnace
Where ogre plays at mind control.
Go fish down in Serpentshrine
Bring up a giant with your pole.

Black Morass is whack a mole:
Endless dragonkin and portals.
Slash your way into Black Temple,
Fight wraiths, ghosts, and dark immortals.

Underbog's below a lake
Explore at will for lots of herbs.
Tempest Keep: slay the phoenix,
Hoping he will drop a bird.

Fight the battle of Hyjal,
Surviving waves you can't escape,
Fight on stage in Karazhan,
Run away in your little cape.

Fight your way into the Nexus:
Free Malygos's icy love.
Climb up ramps in Oculus,
Fly dragon-back in the sky above.

Utgarde: watch for frozen breath,
Kill a dragon with fallen spears.
Joust in Trial of Champions:
Kill the Black Knight to many cheers.

See young Arthas in old Strat
Murder the sick and lose his soul.
Venture into Drak'Tharon,
Meet a wily, treacherous troll.

Splash into old Gundrak's caves,
Bathe in Eck's slimy residue.
Azjol-Nerub is under ice,
Fall ten stories, enjoy the view.

Ahn'kahet: fight your shadows,
Hope none of your pals is a tree.
Go into the Violet Hold,
Stop the prisoners from running free.

Run a gauntlet in the Pit:
A tunnel of collapsing ice.
Flee from Arthas in the Halls:
Keep well away or pay the price.

Finally we get to Naxx
For spiders, Scourge, and beetle swarm,
Ulduar: you'll ride a tank
Then battle with a fierce left arm.

In Trial of the Crusader
Slay a beast and a trifling gnome.
Icecrown: fight on flying ships,
Face Arthas on his Frozen Throne.

88 lines about 44 instances.
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#4
C'mon guys you're not gonna let Zlinka get all the goodies are you?
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#5
This is a little bit cheaty because it is an old poem, but I worked hard on it and it's nostalgic.

The ten strong, had heard the tales
of Hodir's fall to Loken the deciever,
and entered the hall of frost and chill
hoping to unshackle the noble giant leader.

In charged Donalzon with a shout,
to lay the stray giant about.
The others moved in to shatter the prisons.
Everytime Hodir turned to the party's dismay
Donalzon pushed harder threatening the giant's play.

The winds did blow, cold from the North,
shards of ice fell covering the floor with scree.
Around they danced through chill and ice both,
their will that the giant lord be free.

Ankoo did not feel the chill at all,
her slavery to the Lich King had been far worse.
The Giant's ice prison was strong.
Powered by rage the blows fell
and the ice shattered right to the source.

Stalkinghoof helped Hodir find his way before
and had come to help his friends through.
So many he lifts when their need calls.
His arrows flew and found their way true,
every hit strengthening Hodir's resolve.

Quauf was fresh and newly pressed into service.
He saw the conviction of his new found friends.
He knew the need, and became a conduit of the divine.
Repeatedly he pulled them away from the precipice
and as the injuries happened Quauf saw them mend.

The winds did blow, cold from the North,
shards of ice fell covering the floor with scree.
Around they danced through chill and ice both,
their will that the giant lord be free!

Nganga had danced this war bout before,
under around and through as if no obstacles in his path,
claws and jaws through the ice and the armor.
He shattered the frozen mace with his mighty roar,
and the cold stare faltered of the massive goliath.

Greed was as his name implies
and Hodir's weapons of power were well known,
to take home such a magnificent token of war,
would make him the focus of all eyes.
He went to his work with runes and death magic swirling.

Orenthas once dwelled in the shadow,
but through the tribe saw his way clear.
His new talents warded others from harm.
The true fight with Yogg-Saron on the morrow,
distracted not his mind from the protection of his friends dear.

The winds did blow, cold from the North,
shards of ice fell covering the floor with scree.
Around they danced through chill and ice both,
their will that the giant lord be FREE!

Icy death exploded forth at them, but Reliance flashed through,
hurling arcane blasts at Hodir's flank.
Reliance's schooling was in battle as well as theory.
Getting on into the depth of Ulduar was a challenge he knew,
but Hodir on this evening was a ship as it sank.

Vercetti saw the fatigue strike the others,
the fight had waged on unabated.
He renewed his effort, finely crafted arrows flew out.
His war cat drew from the feeling, for they were brothers
and pounced again, his will to fight unabated.

Mercini saw the others through many injuries grievous,
but then the ceiling above Stalkinghoof dropped to her dismay.
This one she was sure he would not survive.
She quickly charged into action most courageous
and from the fray Stalkinghoof flew safe away.

The winds did blow, cold from the North,
shards of ice fell covering the floor with scree.
Around they danced through chill and ice both,
The giant lord is FREE!

And the giant halted in mid-stride, his icy blows did stop.
And tears formed as his heart thawed his eyes.
He cleared the rubble from Mercini's body and to his knees dropped,
"I lost myself again, but none shall need say goodbyes"
And with his icy breath the blue sparkled back into Mercini's eyes.
-Donalzon

“He lives not long who battles with the immortals, nor do his children prattle about his knees when he has come back from battle and the dead fray.”

Homer, The Iliad
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#6
I zhink zhat 'Zee Ballad of zee Pyromaniac' eez zee best poem. I zhall vote for zhat one!
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#7
Clearly epics about kicking but are the best. I vote for that one.
-Donalzon

“He lives not long who battles with the immortals, nor do his children prattle about his knees when he has come back from battle and the dead fray.”

Homer, The Iliad
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#8
I just wanted to remind the participants that they cannot vote for themselves!

But, as I did like Donalzon's poem, I will cast my vote for his poem.

-Rince
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#9
Didn't see anything about not voting for yourself, but also forgot that this was supposedly judged by a panel of judges. As I did not apply to be on the panel that's fine, but given I'm one of three votes if mine magically counts I will throw my vote behind the pyromaniac.
-Donalzon

“He lives not long who battles with the immortals, nor do his children prattle about his knees when he has come back from battle and the dead fray.”

Homer, The Iliad
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#10
Ok. The panel of judges idea didn't work out. But it does clearly state in the rules that 'judges,' i.e. people casting votes, cannot vote for themselves! I'm beginning to see a pattern here! Don's just trying to sneak votes in!

**WARNING! WARNING! ONE DAY OF VOTING REMAINING!**
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