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For Grazak
#1
You were *probably* wondering what was going on tonight at the play, so I took the liberty of copying down the transcript for you.

EDIT - I didn't have anything to do with this, by the way. I'm not any of these people below.



How Grungie Stole Winter's Veil
Parody written by Luficia
Modified by Lacryma
Based off of Dr. Suess'
How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Special thanks to Denetus whom was able to write the original down for me so it made this much easier to write. And much more thanks to Lacryma for sitting with me and lore-ifing this! Lacryma was able to put the humor in it so anyone can get a giggle out of it - Whether they RP or not.

For the characters, this is what I'd imagine it to be. Grungie is a Night Elf. a green one with green hair, and in my mind, green skin. Bindi Sue is a gnome. Max can be anybody. Anyway here we go.

---


Narrator:

Every creature in Azeroth liked Winter's Veil a lot.
But Grungie, who lived above Azeroth, did not!
Grungie hated Winter's Veil! The whole Winter's Veil season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.


It could be his head wasn't screwed on right.
It could be, perhaps, that his pants were too tight.


But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his hearthstone was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, his hearthstone or his pants,
He stood there on Winter Veil's eve, hating every creature,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grungie frown!


At the warm lighted shops throughout each town!
For he knew every creature in Azeroth beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.

Grungie:

"And they're hanging their stockings!"

Narrator:

He snarled with a sneer!

Grungie:

"Tomorrow is Winter's Veil! It's practically here!"

Narrator:

Then he growled, with his Grungie fingers nervously drumming.

Grungie:

"I MUST find some way to stop Winter's Veil from coming!"

Narrator:

For tomorrow, he knew, all the girls and boys, and gnomlettes,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush fortheir trinkets!


And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!


That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!


Then the creatures, dead or alive, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!


They would feast on Graccu's Homemade Meat Pie,
And rare Blended Bean Brew!
Which wasnt so bad, it was something Grungie could stand at the least.


But THEN They'd do something he loathed more than all!
Every creature down in Azeroth, the Tauren and the small,
Would stand close together, with Winter Veil's bells ringing.
They'd stand shoulder-to-shoulder. And the creatures would start singing!


They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!


And the more Grungie thought of Orcish Winter Veil Singing,
The more Grungie thought,

Grungie:

"I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for two centuries, I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Winterveil from coming! But HOW?"

Narrator:

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
GRUNGIE GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

Grungie:
"I know just what to do!"

Narrator:
Grungie laughed in his throat!
And he made a quick Greatfather Winter's hat and coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked!

Grungie:

"What a great Grungie falsehood!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like that fool from Smokeywood!"
"All I need is a reindeer..."

Narrator:

But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop old Grungie? No! Grungie simply said,

Grungie:

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

Narrator:

So he called his slave, Max, then he took some enchanted scarlet thread,
And he tied a big Felguard's horn on top of his head.
THEN he loaded some bags and some empty old sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh and he hitched up old Max.
Then! Grungie said,

Grungie:

"Spoooooon!"

Narrator:

And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where all in Azeroth lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All of Azeroth were dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.

Grungie:

"This is stop number one!"

Narrator:

Old Grungie hissed!
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight crunch.
But, If Greatfather Winter could do it, then so could ole Grunge.

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he struck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the cute little stockings all hung in a row.

Grungie:

"These stockings..."

Narrator:

He grinned.

Grungie:

"... are the first things to go!"

Narrator:

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he ninjaed every present!


Armor! And staves! Two handed hammers! Even Epics!
Recipes! Whelpings! Spell books! And mounts!

And he stuffed them in bags! Then Grungie, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!


Then he slunk to the bar. He took the Winter Veil feast!
He took Graccu's Homemade Meat Pie! He took the Blended Bean Brew!


He cleaned out that bar as quick as a zerg.
Why, Grungie even drank their last bottle of Darkmoon Reserve.


Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

Grungie:

"And now!"

Narrator:

Grinned Grungie.

Grungie:

"I will stuff up the tree!"

Narrator:

And Grungie grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a bird.
He turned around fast, and he saw a little gnome!


Little Bindi Sue Lou, who was not more then two.
Grungie had been caught by this tiny little gnome,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of ice cold milk.
She stared at Grungie and said,

Bindi Sue:

"Greathfather Winty, why? Why are you taking our Winter Veil tree? Why?"

Narrator:

But, you know, that old Grungie was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

Grungie:

"Why, my sweet little gnome.."

Narrator:

The fake Greatfather Winter lied,

Grungie:

"There's a candle on this tree that won't light on one side."
"So I'm taking it to the Smokywood Pastures folk, fresh from our farm to your plate, its Smokeywood Pasture goodness, my dear."
"They'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

Narrator:

And his sales pitch fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a sampler and drink, and he sent her to bed.
And when Bindi Sue Lou went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then the last thing he took was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar,
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food that he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.


Then he did the same thing to other houses,
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the creatures, still in bed,
All the creatures, still asnooze when he packed up his sled.

Packed it up with their loot! The lights! The wrappings!
The ale! And the axes! The epic mounts! All the trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Blackrock,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to drop it!

Grungie:
"Cry more Noobzeroth!"

Narrator:

He was grunchishly humming!

Grungie:

"They're finding out now that no Winter Veil is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,"
"Then they will ask, who, then all cry boo hoo!"

"That's a noise,"

Narrator:

Grinned ol' Grunch,

Grungie:

"That I simply MUST here!"

Narrator:

So he paused. And Grungie put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.

But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Azeroth! Grungie popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every player in Azeroth, The tauren and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped WInter's Veil from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Grungie, with his grungie-feet ice cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling!

Grungie:

"How could it be so?"
"It came without ribbons! It came without lag!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

Narrator:

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then Grungie thought of something he hadn't before!

Grungie:

"Maybe Winter's Veil..."

Narrator:

He thought,

Grungie:

"... doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Winter's Veil... perhaps... means a little bit more."

Narrator:

And what happened then? Well... in Azeroth, they say,
That Grungie's small hearthstone grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his hearthstone didn't feel quite so small
He activated it with glee and was warped to the guild hall,
And he brought back the loot! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! Grungie sliced Graccu's Homemade Meat Pie!
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#2
Thanks a bunch! I managed to catch the end part with my Alliance alt. Smile
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