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A histery less'n
#1
*Don walks into a small room with a broken down table and a chair and gingerly sits down. He scratches what is left of his beard and pops his neck with his free hand. His other hand ruffles through a clay, stone, and wooden tablet, each of which is engraved with thick markings that obviously mean something to him but are illegible to the eyes of all assembled.*

Awright folks, I's not much fer tellin' stories but I figger I ought tah tell this'n a'cause it might be imerten' to some'o'ya down the line. Let a old man gather his thoughts, dig?

*Don rummages through his various "pages" and settles on a slab of freshly cut wood. His fingers fly as he absorbs what was written there.*

So's after I woke up from muh long sleep, I got to talkin' 'roun' an' heard of these wars an' all these new peoples that'd been borned er spawned er transperted er whatevah an' I figger I'd better git tah the bottom'a this elsewise who'm I gonna know who's friend'r foe so's I hopped on one o' them zep'lins (which's a whole 'nother story right there,) an' I went to this new cont'nent tah learn what these Orcs 'n these Trolls 'n these Tauren 'n them Blood Elves was. I go's to this Den place where they was some o' them green skinned Orc fellers. They looked... well I'm supposin' I oughta explain hows I sees an' all so's you won't be callin' me a faker'r nothin' like some folk been.

*Don rakes his hands through what is left of his hair and pops his neck and jaw with a loud "harrumph"*

Now as y'all can see plain-like, I ain't got no eyes tah speak of. Don't particular know why but I's been guesstimatin' an' I figger that since muh eyes was weak when I were livin' they weren't good 'nough tah be given tah me when I come back. Now when I was alive, I learnt tah make muh way'n the world based on smell. sound, taste, n'touch. Through them other skills, I kin "see" most anythin' in a general sense. Cain't "see" colors'r writin's'r nothin' specific but'th bein' Undead, 't'seems tah made muh other senses all stronger-like so's I kin almos' see like them normal folks. Figger a body gotsta adapt less he'll turn intah another corpse'n a shaller grave, dig? Anyway, where was I?

*Don pulls on a small tuft of his beard for a few seconds and then he snaps*

Ah yeah, I 'member now, the lookin's of the Orc types.

Don throws the wooden tablet away and grabs for the clay one. His hands fly over the runes etched into the slab.

Well from what I heard, they was green skinned'n "savage" lookin'. Now from what I seen they'se a good length taller'n us Umdead'n they's quite a bit heavier from the sounds they footfalls made'n the ground. Listenin' to 'em speak was inter'stin' as I figgered how uneducated folks might think'm as savage 'causin' they used a differ'n't 'n simpler tongue'n what we folks used'n my day. They weren't SAVAGE per-say's more like... cooked down... like they got rid o' th' "fat"'f the speech if'y'will. From what I saw'f the Orc I talked tah, he'n his had long ol' beards't swayed'n swished'n combat... er mebbe it was they hair... Either way they's more tribal'n savage as I saw some'f'm callin' ferth totems'f mighty power 'n some'f th'other ones callin' ferth demon's 'n such. As y'kin tell, I spent more'n a few minutes with 'n Orc... if on'y I'd gotten his name.

*Don snaps up as if he remembered something*

Awright I figger y'alls wanna know 'bout that history an' what not. Slipped my min' fer a few minutes thar. I'm an old man so's I ferget things. Luckily I gots em all writ down

*Don taps his various "pages" and grabs the stone page. This one has the runic writing on both sides and looks to have been carved with an incredibly sharp stiletto

Lesse here, I foun' this young Orc... an' I fergot to write his name down... but I figger I'll call 'm "The Historian". Anyway, I was accosted by this Historian Orc feller an' he asks me what I was doin' 'n his homeland. I told'm part o' my story an' he took me over tah some li'l demon beasties. Now I'm gonna try quotin' him as best I kin but I ain't perfec' mind an' I cain't speak like him neither.

These li'l suckers 're demons 'n they's what all of us is fightin'. Them's the pushovers but the most powerful one, Archie-mondee ('r somethin') done smashed the main cont'nent 'n made the Eastern Kingdoms'n this land, Kal'mdoor. Luckily, he's dead but his minions, The Burnin' Legion, is tryin' tah take over th' world again. Anywho, us Orcs came from Draenor... from far far away and we opened a pertal an' warred with them Humans (this's after I died, mind so's I didn't know none o' this). Soon after, them Humans banded with the Dwarves 'n the High Elves 'n beat us Orcs back, even though we'd teamed up with Forest Trolls, which we hated, 'n Ogres. n' Demon-folk.

When they whupped us, they destroyed Draenor 'n one o' them Demons what brainwashed us. Once we'd got unbrainwashed, we fell into a depresiion an' lost our wills tah fight as that Demon made us drink his blood an' such. So after awhile, this Thrall guy gets us movin' from them human camps tah Kal'mdoor. On t'way there, we was shipwrecked an' the Jungle Trolls, who was less violent 'n more tribal then them Forest Trolls, helped us out an' we helped them out so's we got us some allies. Then we helped some 'o them Taurens an' they pledged tah help us get our roots back so's that's the new Horde.

As fer where I come in, he said that some Lich King come an' rose up all th' dead an' brainwashed our bodies tah do thin's while our minds was sleepin' still. 'parrently that's where most o' my beard went to as I was chewin' on corpses an' such. Then some Queen come out an' freed us an' I woke up.

Gotta be hones' I kinda feel a kinship fer them Orcs as they went through what I went through due to they Demons an' my Lich King guy. Tell ya what, though, that Lich King got a huge reckonin' when I finds him.


*Don stands up and wipes his brow which is bone dry.*

Like tah thank ya fer listenin' to an old man ramble on. Truth be told I never met no Troll 'r Tauren 'r Blood Elf (whatever they is) so's I ain't got a description o' them yet. Hope y'all enjoyed muh story. I'm right tired now.

*Don slumps a little and walks slowly out and into the night.*
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